Alateen: hope and help for younger family members and friends of alcoholics

It’s very difficult when a parent, stepparent, grandparent, friend, sibling, or any one else in one’s life has a drinking problem. It affects how young people are treated and it shapes their world. In an Alateen meetin, teens can find support and understanding from people their own age who are going through similar difficulties.

Alateen is part of the Al-Anon Family Groups; Al-Anon meetings are for anyone affected by someone else’s drinking. If there’s no Alateen meeting available to you, you are always welcome to attend an Al-Anon meeting.

Can Alateen Help You?

Alateen is for young people whose lives have been affected by someone else’s drinking. Sometimes the active drinking has stopped, or the active drinker may not live with us anymore. Even though the alcohol may be gone, and the alcoholic gone or recovering in AA, we are still affected. Many of us have received help from Alateen or Al-Anon.

The following 20 questions are to help you decide whether or not Alateen is for you.

1. Do you believe no one could possibly understand how you feel?
2. Do you cover up your real feelings by pretending you don’t care?
3. Do you feel neglected, uncared for, or unloved?
4. Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else’s drinking or what’s happening in your home?
5. Do you stay out of the house as much as possible because you hate it there?
6. Are you afraid or embarrassed to bring your friends home?
7. Has someone’s drinking upset you?
8. Are mealtimes, birthdays, and holidays spoiled because of drinking or others’ reactions to the drinking?
9. Are you afraid to speak up for fear the drinking or fighting will start again?
10. Do you think the drinker’s behavior is caused by you, other members of your family, friends, or rotten breaks in life?
11. Do you make threats such as, “If you don’t stop drinking and fighting, I’ll run away?”
12. Do you make promises about behavior, such as I’ll “get better grades,” or “keep my room clean,” or “do anything you want,” in exchange for a promise that the drinking and fighting will stop?
13. Do you feel that if the drinker loved you, she or he would stop drinking?
14. Do you ever threaten or actually hurt yourself to scare the drinker into saying, “I’m sorry,” or “I love you”?
15. Do you or your family have money problems because of someone else’s drinking?
16. Are you scared to ride in a car with the drinker?
17. Have you considered calling the police because of abusive behavior?
18. Do you avoid dating or having close friends because they may find out about the drinking or fighting?
19. Do you think your problems would be solved if the drinking stopped?
20. Do you ever treat teachers, friends, team-mates, etc. unfairly because you are angry about someone else’s drinking?

Reprinted with permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.

For more information, go the the Al-Anon/Alateen World Service Organization website by clicking on the following links:

Teens Talk About Alateen,
Alateen Newsletter

In Alateen meetings, young people share their own experiences—everyone in the meeting has been affected by someone else’s drinking. Some currently live with a problem drinker, others do not. Alateens share their feelings, encourage each other, and share how the Alateen program has helped them. The adults in the meetings are the Alateen Group Sponsors, who help the teens to stay focused on the Alateen program.

Alateens learn that alcoholism is a disease and that:

• They didn’t cause anyone else to drink or behave in any way.
• They cannot change or control anyone but themselves.
• They can detach themselves emotionally from the drinker’s problems while continuing to love the person.
• They can build satisfying and rewarding life experiences for themselves, whether the alcoholic still drinks or not.

Try an Alateen chat meeting

Alateen groups meet in community centers, churches, schools, or other suitable places (many times in the same building as an Al-Anon group, but in a separate room). The groups are not affiliated with the meeting location. Local Al-Anon Information Services provide information on locating Al-Anon and Alateen meetings in the Salt River Valley area, or you can download the full meeting list here.  You can also call (602) 249-1257 in Phoenix.

Has your life been affected by someone else’s drinking?

Alateen is our recovery program for young people. Alateen groups are sponsored by Al-Anon members. Alateen’s program of recovery is based on the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous. The Steps are the foundation for personal recovery and the Traditions help groups sustain their unity and fellowship. The Twelve Concepts of Service are guides for service. They show how Twelfth Step work can be done on a broad scale and how members of a World Service Office can relate to each other and to the groups, through a World Service Conference, to spread Al-Anon’s/Alateen’s message worldwide. Together, The Twelve Steps, The Twelve Traditionsand The Twelve Concepts of Service make up Al-Anon’s/Alateen’s Three Legacies.

• Alateen Is part of the Al-Anon fellowship designed for the younger relatives and friends of alcoholics through age nineteen
• Members conduct their own meetings with the guidance of an Al-Anon sponsor
• Follows the same Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, and principles as Al-Anon

If you have answered “Yes” to any of these questions, Alateen may help you.

Please check out these other links for more information about Alateen

Please visit our Video section to hear Teens share about how Alateen has helped them – Go to Videos

CLICK HERE Find an Alateen meetings in our meeting schedule, or call the SRVAIS office for information about Alateen.

CLICK HERE to see a list of Arizona State wide current Alateen Meetings.

CLICK HERE to get more information about Alateen.

CLICK HERE to read what other Teens think about Alateen.

CLICK HERE to try an Alateen chat meeting.